


A Huge Rad Mess in Every Sense of the Word

by buttmaster



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bulges and Nooks, Multi, Other, Threesome - F/F/F, Voyeurism, Webcam/Video Chat Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-08
Updated: 2016-04-08
Packaged: 2018-06-01 00:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6493609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buttmaster/pseuds/buttmaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Oh my god. Why did we agree to this again?” Porrim pinched the bridge of her nose. Damara, seeing Porrim’s annoyance, was suddenly more into the situation.</p><p>The ‘this’ Porrim referred to of course required a little explanation. Latula and Mituna were a happy couple. The kind of were that just fits the rest of the verb tense and not the kind where it means this is a no longer true past thing. Happy couple. They couldn't even remember who first suggested opening up their relationship, but it was undoubtedly due to Mituna’s constant joking about getting with someone else, or about Latula getting with someone else, or them musing about both of them being with someone else, usually one of their friends (that Dave Strider guy was hot and interesting, and so was Roxy Lalonde).</p><p>But then came the ‘you know, I've been thinking,’ and Latula remembering how rad it was being with Porrim, and Mituna thinking about how he wouldn't mind dating--well… he had a list. And so started their dive into polyamory.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Huge Rad Mess in Every Sense of the Word

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InfiniteWallflower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InfiniteWallflower/gifts).



“How's the image lookin’, Tuna Salad?” Latula fiddled with the husktop, trying to get a good angle on the webcam.

“Fffuckin’ suncks. I don't see a… see a ssssingle fffuckin’ titty, Tules!” Mituna was clear on cam, wearing a shit-eating grin and nothing else, at least from the waist up.

“Pfff, keep your pants on, dude!”

“Too late!” Suddenly the camera panned down, and yep, there was his nook, bulge just barely emerging.

“Haha, whoa, Tunes!” Latula cracked up.

Porrim rolled her eyes and Damara faked a gag. The camera panned back up, and Mituna was presumably waggling his eyebrows under his wild mop of hair. “Ladieth…”

“Oh my god. Why did we agree to this again?” Porrim pinched the bridge of her nose. Damara, seeing Porrim’s annoyance, was suddenly more into the situation.

The ‘this’ Porrim referred to of course required a little explanation. Latula and Mituna were a happy couple. The kind of were that just fits the rest of the verb tense and not the kind where it means this is a no longer true past thing. Happy couple. They couldn't even remember who first suggested opening up their relationship, but it was undoubtedly due to Mituna’s constant joking about getting with someone else, or about Latula getting with someone else, or them musing about both of them being with someone else, usually one of their friends (that Dave Strider guy was hot and interesting, and so was Roxy Lalonde).

But then came the ‘you know, I've been thinking,’ and Latula remembering how rad it was being with Porrim, and Mituna thinking about how he wouldn't mind dating--well… he had a list. And so started their dive into polyamory.

It wasn't really a large stretch, what with the quadrant system, and how the fluctuating nature of quadrants made keeping a one-partner-per-quadrant idea… pretty tough to realistically do. Latula confided in Porrim about their thoughts about the whole thing and of course, of course, Porrim had some relevant literature.

From there, Latula took on Porrim as a second red, and Porrim was already in a pale-pitch thing with Damara… and while Latula wasn't particularly interested in a quadrant with Damara, she was all about some casual gaming, dating, and sex with her. Her and Mituna both had a pretty strong interest in Roxy. And Mituna had… something going on with Dave, and they both wished that the rest of the dudes around them didn't suck, but really, what could be done about that?

But back on track… it became a joke after a few times whenever Latula would go out, Mituna would hit her with a ‘send pics.’ After a while though, Latula asked her partners if maybe they'd be up for surprising Mituna with photos after all. Nobody else would see them, and if they did get out, Latula promised she'd be the first to kick Mituna’s ass and then leave him hogtied at Porrim’s door for Ass-Kicking 2: Ass-Kickinger.

And now they had an anniversary coming up, and Mituna was getting a one-time upgrade from still photos to live video.

“Dude, don't just flash your junk at us. It's called decorum.” Latula tried to say scoldingly… but she was still laughing her ass off.

“I should get paid for this.” Damara rolled her eyes now.

“Sorry. Thorry. Sthorry. I'll calm down. We're good. Camera up here.” He gave a thumbs up to the camera. Then continued a few seconds later. “About those tittieth though.”

“I'm slapping him next time I--” Porrim was interrupted.

“Awwwaww yeeeeah!” Mituna exclaimed. Porrim quickly saw why. Latula was full on flashing the camera.

Damara leaned in frame. “Don't you see these all the time?”

“Fffffunkin’ hell yeah I do. And they are alwayns tomp tier!”

Latula blushed teal and clutched her cheeks. “Oh my god, Tuna…”

Damara huffed and lifted her hoodie for a second, giving a flash of her own smallish bust. “You earned that, fucker.”

Even Porrim found herself smiling. “Okay, that was really kind of sweet in a perverted, objectifying kind of way.”

“I'm not ssss-sayin’ Tules is an object. She's just got two rad objencts I like to… fffuckin’ motorboant.”

“Aaand… sweetness gone.” Porrim leaned back on the pillows behind her. “Are we going to have sex or keep up this conversation until my bulge retracts up into my chest cavity and my nook pulls a Kurloz?”

Damara cringed, legs reflexively clenching together. “Fuck off, Porrim! You are the worst.”

Mituna and Latula were unsurprisingly unphased.

“Yeah, starft boning already! I'm gonna fall athleep!” Mituna grinned a bit more than before.

Latula smirked. “Let's give the peepz what they want, Popo, Damaram.” She turned and slapped her wide ass with her palm for the camera, Damara following. “You see everything okay, Mittz?”

“Let's thee everything first and I'll let youl know!” Mituna was pretty obviously starting to stroke his bulge based on the movement of his arm, which was answer enough.

All three of them rolled their eyes with varying context behind the action, running the gamut from mild amusement to something not quite like annoyance.

Latula, shockingly, made the first move, a role usually reserved for Porrim. After all, this was her rodeo and she was pretty eager to ride this bucking bronco known as a webcam threesome. And hopefully it would last more than seven seconds.

She leaned over Porrim and kissed her firmly, nipping at her bottom lip. She placed a hand on her chest, the deep neck of her dress giving Latula easy access that she took readily. Porrim let out a small little hum of pleasure and arched her back slightly.

Damara watched. Watched and pulled off her bulky red hoodie, exposing again her smallish chest and somewhat stocky build.

Mituna’s interest levels were rising, as was his bulge. His right hand was gripped around it, and it squirmed against his fingers. His left fiddled with a vibrator as he waited until the right moment to probe his slick nook.

Things were heating up on the other end of the webcam as well, Porrim groping Latula’s thick rear end through her dark tights. Latula moaned and nipped her lip just a bit harder.

Damara cleared her throat and bumped her shoulder against Latula’s. “Move, skater girl.” She rudely invaded their personal bubble, hand slipping down and pulling Porrim’s dress up enough to stroke against the crotch of her gold-trimmed jade underwear.

“Mmmnph, funking yessss… that’th what I'm talking about.” Panting breath came through the cheap, muffled computer speakers.

The three on the bed were in.the zone, of course, Damara palming Porrim’s swelling bulge through rapidly dampening underwear as Porrim and Latula seemingly fought for kiss dominance. Latula, who was grinding on Porrim’s leg. Porrim, who was yanking down Latula tights.

As soon as Latula’s ass was revealed, Damara brought her other hand across it with a loud slap and a grin. Latula jumped and Porrim could feel her teal bulge squirm with increasing arousal and excitement against her leg. Latula let out a breathy ‘Fuck.’

“Mmph. Helm yes. I wanana eat fruit snacks off that asth…” Mituna was audibly into it. And all action stopped for a moment.

Damara looked at Latula. “Fruit…”

Porrim pulled back from the kiss. “Fruit snacks.”

Latula’s cheeks were flushed and her breath heavy. “What?” She was clearly not in the mood for conversation.

“Is this just a thing he's saying or has he actually eaten… fruit snacks off your ass?” Porrim’s brow was furrowed.

“I… uh. We…”

“Oh. They did it. They did it. For sure.” Damara got up and went to the laptop. “Why fruit snacks?”

It was pretty obvious that Mituna was still stroking himself… and definitely staring at her tits. He gave a small jump and there was an audible buzzing. “Fruit skanks are tasty ash hell.” His grin was a bit lopsided now and he chewed on his lower lip.

“Damara, get back here. We can do the fruit snack thing later. But we're kind of in the middle of something.” Porrim smirked and her lip ring glinted. And Damara was a red, blushing mess for a moment.

“I don't… care about fruit snacks. It's weird,” and she switched to East Beforan to call her partner a lesbian vampire. Porrim couldn't figure out at this point if she meant it as an insult or pet name. Damara got back on the bed.

“Latula, help her out, please? She probably needs it.”

Damara was just about to protest needing any kind of help when Latula turned around. She flipped the skirt Damara had on up, revealing pretty simple white underwear that were quickly becoming pink tinted, with a redder splotch in the middle. “Better get these off, Mega Megido.” Latula hooked fingers into both sides and yanked downward.

Porrim wasted no time in making the best of Latula’s position, sliding a hand down and tracing the edge of her nook with two fingers before slipping them inside her. Latula let out a groan, and Damara appreciated her facial expression before finding Latula’s face in her crotch.

Damara wasn't as aroused as her partners before, but the feel of the game girl’s breath across her entrance and warm cheek on her thigh got her the rest of the way. She tangled her fingers in Latula’s hair and pushed her hips forward, guiding Latula’s face to her nook.

Latula moaned, half from the scent of Damara and half from Porrim’s digits working her just the way she liked. Hooking in and touching just the right spots, fingers grazing the still hidden parts of her exposed bulge. She moaned again and muffled it against Damara, burying her face against her. Her broad tongue licked up her nook, up to the underside of her bulge, before licking back down. She did this a few times more, all while a trickle of red ran into her hair, then plunged her tongue in with the same enthusiasm she tackled everything else. Such as high fives.

Damara jumped, legs clenching, essentially trapping Latula, whose hair she also gave a sharp tug. “Fuck! Not trying to punch through to my chute!” A few insults rattled off in her native tongue. Among them idiot and panty sniffer.

“Nnnf!” Mituna was going to town, slumped in his chair, the husktop shaking as his leg twitched against the desk it sat on. “Tongueffffuck that binch--”

“Nope!” Porrim was glaring toward the camera. “First and only warning. Next slur out of your mouth and this is over.” The scolding was almost funny, given that Porrim was in Latula like a bowling ball, but she was clearly serious.

Latula looked back pleadingly at the camera. Damara gasped and tried half-heartedly to grip a horn and turn her face back forward again.

“Shit! Sorry. Really sorry. Thorry. Fuck. It won't hampen again. Shit. Shit shit.” Mituna’s head was down.

Latula reached up and pushed Damara’s hand away and started to get up, then gave a pointed look at Porrim, who retracted her fingers. “Tuna. Hey. Mituna. Hey. Look. Look at me.”

“I'm tho sorrrrry. Fucked up.”

Porrim winced. “Should we… stop?”

“Nah. Just gimme a min, Merrygams. Tuna. Look at me. It's fine. We're all good. You didn't fuck anything up.”

Mituna made eye contact with the camera again.

“You made a mistake. You're sorry. You won't do it again. It's fine. No one carez. Dam’z trying to fuck my face and Porrim had to pry her fingers out of me because we're all hellz of horny and no one can resist my bodacious body. We're cool.”

Mituna smirked. “Yeah. Well. You're shinting irrethithtable. Hottest asp on Beforus.”

Damara huffed. “We can hear you, asslick.”

Latula grinned with her red painted lips. “Not even close. What about Meulin?”

Mituna paused, then smirked. “Well. No contents there.” Everyone involved was clearly taking a moment to mentally appreciate Meulin Leijon. “What're you all waiting thor?”

Latula bounced her breasts at him, Damara gave him the finger, and Porrim was less on edge. Latula and Mituna were great for each other and she was really glad she ended up with him instead of Kankri. Then she immediately stopped thinking about Kankri, because the last thing she needed was that mood killer.

Latula bounced a little on the bed. “So... unpause where we left it or go for some new positionz?”

Porrim started to answer before Damara jumped back in. “Unpause. Get back to work.” She pointed down to her crotch.

Porrim sighed. “Resume position.”

“Got it, team leader. Going back down into getting my spelunk on in the pit of disdain--ow!” Damara had flicked her horn. Grumbling, Latula kissed her thigh. “Not my fault you are pure disdain and snark, Damarama Canal.”

Porrim, meanwhile, was shifting position, moving to press her thick, slick bulge to Latula’s entrance. “Speaking of spelunking.”

“Holy shit…” Mituna jostled the computer as he leaned in close to watch. He was back to full arousal and his nook had all but swallowed the vibrating false bulge.

“You want it, Latula, darling?” Porrim teasingly moved back an inch.

Latula followed her back. “Plug and play, Popo.”

“You need to give me a new nickname.”

“You need to fuck me.”

“You need to shut up!” Damara scowled. “No banter. Just sex. I'm drying up. At least he,” she jabbed a finger toward the husktop, “has a toy. Human bulge. You're both sick.” She grinned, insincere and trying to get their goat. “You need h--whoa!”

Latula had grabbed her by the hips and tugged forward, tongue flicking against the underside of her bulge before going lower and slipping inside her. She slid a hand up to stroke that writhing red tendril.

At the same time, Porrim eased into Latula, guiding her own bulge inside the tealblood, whose walls instantly tightened and pulled at her throbbing member. All three of them moaned.

Porrim reached forward and took Damara by the chin, pulling her close enough to kiss. “You're rude and I can't take you anywhere.”

Damara gave a sultry look and panted softly as she humped at Latula’s hand and face. “You take me everywhere.” She nipped at Porrim’s lip as if to try and snag the ring between her teeth.

Porrim was faster, moving back before coming in again, biting her lip in return, fang threatening to draw blood. “You have the worst manners. And that list includes Aranea. I may need to bring out the gag later.” Porrim smirked and gently shoved Damara back with her palm. She focused on Latula again, gripping her by the hips and rolling her own. Her bulge would be lashing if not snugly inside her partner.

Latula, on the other hand, was free and pumping teal fluid onto the sheets. She groaned, feeling so full, and traced circles with her tongue on the walls of Damara’s nook, rewarded with Damara’s eager moans and a slickness enveloping her fingers and rubbing down her forehead.

The scene was quickly devolving into a messy symphony of moans and gasps and ragged breathing. And a messy… mess. Of teal and jade and deep red.

Mituna’s bulge tangled and squirmed with his fingers and he let out a moan, hips bucking and head tilted back. His eyes were closed, more listening than watching as he hit his peak, teeth gritted. “Aww fuck. Fuck funk shit shit sit thit fuck oh gong.” His hips tensed and his nook pushed the toy out which buzzed loudly on the hard floor like an angry hornets’ nest. Jets of yellow gushed messily onto the floor, onto the desk front, one reaching the monitor. “Oh, damn!”

Latula could hear the ass disaster coming from the other end of the chat and tensed around the bulge buried inside her, moaning against Damara and humming in pleasure, lips vibrating slightly. Fingers knotted in her hair.

Damara came first of the three in the room, red fluid reaching all the way to the small of Latula’s back… except one unruly gush that nailed her in her own face.

Porrim would have laughed, except Latula felt too good around her. She started to, really, and it came out in an ugly guffaw which turned into a groan. She leaned over Latula as she filled her. 

It was all so much. Too much. And too good. Latula came, and came hard, drenching the bed. Damara twitched and flinched and pushed herself back from Latula, who gasped for breath. “Oh fucking hell yes!” She arched her back hard and rode out her orgasm.

“Fuck.” Damara was still twitching as little aftershocks hit her.

Porrim finally pulled out, followed by a rush of excess jade mixed with teal. “Fuck indeed.”

Latula rolled over, not wanting to flop in the tie-tie-dye puddle under her, and sprawled out, before putting both hands up. “High fivez all around, lay-deez. Don't leave me hangin’ here. High five long dist, Tuna.” She looked over at the computer.

Mituna wasn't there.

“MTunez?”

There he was. Popping into frame. Holding one of her shirts. Covered in yellow now. “Thorry. Clean-up shituation on aisle my dick.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“It wath in the dirty clothes hamster.”

Damara grimaced. “You two? The worst.”

Porrim smirked. “And yet you're still going to watch anime with her and sleepover in a few days.”

Damara frowned. “You are also the worst. I'm the only not worst one here.”

Mituna laughed. “Thankth by the way. Hate to stronk and run, but I need to get clean.”

Latula grimaced at herself. “You and us both, hot stuff. Gonna cut the feed and do that. I'll be back latez. Love you.”

Mituna made a face. “Grozth.”

“You're gross.”

Damara sighed, getting up and heading to the laptop. “You're all gross.” Then the call cut out.


End file.
